Have you ever felt like you're trying to please others? Are you saying yes to people when you know you probably shouldn't? Perhaps you feel like someone is taking advantage of you because you are constantly asked for a favor? This can mean that you want to please people, but in fact become a target for manipulation.
What are the signs that you are pleasing others?
There are many situations that can make us please people, such as being asked for a favor, and even if you are having a very stressful evening, you still agree to it out of fear of rejection or out of fear of discussion. Let's take a look at some of the classic signs that you are comfortable:
You are neglecting yourself. Although you want to help others, you often neglect yourself and your needs. Remember, you can agree to help someone, which is great, but at the same time you took away your free evening and were unable to do what you personally needed to do. You need to find balance and prioritize, which we'll talk about later.
You start to resent others. Although you agree to do things for others to please them, after a while you may become angry with these people. You may feel resentment towards others and begin to experience these negative feelings.
You are constantly being used to your advantage. Maybe you are starting to feel like others are now using you because they know you will say yes. You may see others using you for their own benefit because they know you want people to like you. This again can lead to negative emotions and pent-up sadness.
5 ways to stop trying to please people
Once you realize that people might like you and maybe feel a little sad about it, it's worth starting to work on finding ways to end it. As mentioned earlier, this does not mean that you stop being a good person or helping others, but it can mean that you will no longer be used to your advantage and can save you personal time.
1. Realize that you have a choice. If you know that helping someone will make you even more annoyed by giving up your own business, you should know that you can say no. You don't always have to say yes. Your free time is exactly what you need and you can do whatever you want with it. Once you understand that you have a choice, it will be easier for you to decide what you can say yes to and what you may have to say no to.
2. Set your priorities. If you can sit down and prioritize the day, then determine what is important to you. Planning your day will help you make decisions. For example, if you have a deadline for work and need to stay an hour after work, that's fine. However, if a coworker asks for a favor before you leave, but you know you need to cook a family dinner and take your child to a class after school, you are less likely to say yes. Your plans are more important than favors, so learn to say no and understand that it's okay.
3. Let go of people who take advantage of your tendency to please. If people know you say yes, always want to help others, and are generally a good person, they can use it to their advantage. These people are toxic, and it is perfectly normal to leave them. This can be tricky, however, especially in the case of family, so it might be worth trying to figure out who is using you to their advantage and how best to distance yourself from them.
4. Accept the fact that you will feel guilty if you say no. When you want people to like you, you are more likely to be a kind person who doesn't want to upset anyone. This will mean that when you say no to someone, you will feel as if you let them down or messed up something they planned, and you will feel guilty. However, sometimes it just isn't possible to please everyone and you have to put yourself first, so admit your guilt but then let it go as you know when you made the right choice by saying no.
5. Take care of yourself. If you can take care of yourself, you will increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. Take care of yourself, surround yourself with positive people, and work on any negative feelings you have. Work on your confidence and then start putting it into practice.
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Source: www.womanhit.ru