Abazali balungele ukwenza nantoni na ukuba bakhule umntwana ophilileyo nophumeleleyo: ukuphuhliswa kwangaphambili, imidlalo ukusuka ekuzalweni, ukuqeqesha, iindlela zokugqibela zemfundo noqeqesho. Siya kufuneka kwakhona ukuba samkele ukuba akunakwenzeka ukulawula ihlabathi elingaphandle, elingalimaza umntwana. Ukuqala ngomgaqo-nkqubo, kumfundisi wezontanga.
Nangona kunjalo, bambalwa bethu bakulungele ukuvuma ukuba ingozi enkulu kumntwana ayenawo angaziwayo, kodwa ngabazali ngokwabo. Isazi sengqondo kunye neengqondo ze-psychosomatologist uOksana Fortunatova malunga nendlela ukukhuliswa kwintsapho kuchaphazela ngayo impilo yomntwana.
I-Psychosomatics Education: iindlela ze-9 zokutshabalalisa umntwana wakho
Amathoyizi aseTshayina, amafutha angama-transgenic, inzima kwizopolitiko-ininzi ingozi elindele le ndoda encinci ifike kweli hlabathi!
Nangona kunjalo, ngaba sicinga ukuba abantu abasondeleyo bangaba ziintshaba eziyingozi kakhulu zomntwana?
Iintshaba eziqinileyo, ezomnkqisayo kunye nokunqoba konke.
Namhlanje, abantwana abaninzi banokuba ngamaziko ezobugqirha: ukuxilongwa akukabikwa, unyango lubi, imali iyaphuma.
Komzimba, gastritis, ukuhlaselwa catarrhal, zokufota kunye nezinye izifo ebantwaneni engasekho waqonda njenge sifo lwezitiya ezele sniffles kunye nabantwana ukukhohlela, kunye neentlungu esiswini kunye nabafundi igophe umva ziye zaba udidi inkqubo yemfundo. Ukutshatyalaliswa kweentlanzi ezincinci, ukuhlaselwa kwesoyiki, ukubetha, ukunyakaza okugqithisileyo.
Ngokwezibalo ze-World Health Organisation 47% yezigulane zineengxaki ze-psychosomatic, kwaye unyango lwonyango aluyi kubanceda.
Nangona i-International Classification of Diseases 10 inikeza inkcazo ecacileyo yeengxaki ze-psychosomatic kunye nezimo ze-psychogenic zesifo, oogqirha bethu basasaza "ukumba" ngezi zizathu.
Umntwana uhlakulela njani ingxaki yengqondo?
Ukusuka kwinqanaba lezesayensi, i-psychosomatic disorder ine:
- kubeka phambili;
- Indawo efanelekileyo "yokubonakalisa nokuphuhliswa;
- yenze indlela.
Imfundo ibomvu obomvu kuwo onke amacandelo amathathu.
Kutheni imfundo, ubudlelwane bubangela imbangela yokugula okanye ukugula komntwana?
Masiqale ngokuzalwa.
Umntwana ulungelelwe ukuba ukwazi ukuqonda, ukukwazi ukuthelekisa iinjongo kunye nokufikelela kwizigqibo, phakama iminyaka ukuya kwi-7-10.
Umntwana ubona njani umhlaba kunye nokusingqongileyo ngaphambi kweli xesha?
I-Psychophysiologist uPaul Macklin kwi-70-ies ngokusukela kwiminyaka emininzi yophando iye yavelisa ingcamango yokuba ingqondo yomntu ekuphuhliseni kwayo imbali iye yadlula amanqanaba athile. Kwaqala ngemfundo yokuqala, iqhubela phambili kwaye ibe nzima.
Inkqubo efanayo, kodwa ngexesha elikhawulezileyo, lithatha ingqondo yomntu ukususela ekuzalweni ukukhula.
Umntwana, ezalwe, uhlaziyiweyo olululo (i-instincts), apho isebe lasendulo-iqulunqo elisezantsi-lixanduva. UPaul Macklin ngesiseko sophando lwakhe ufumene ukufana okubalulekileyo kwesi sakhiwo kunye nengqondo yezilwanyana eziqhenqileyo, kwaye ngoko igama elithi "ubuchopho be-reptile" lubambe.
Kamva, i-neuropsychologist uHugh Gerhard yasungula ikhono elimangalisayo lomntwana ukulungelelanisa nonina. Ngokubhaliweyo "ukubamba" iimpawu zakhe ezibalulekileyo: i-palpitation, ukwandisa-ukunciphisa abafundi, uxinzelelo, isithintelo sezwi - umntwana uvelisa ngokwakhe!
Yintoni eqhuba umntwana? Ukusinda kwendalo. Ukutya, ukusela, ukukhusela, ukufudumala, ukulala, unyango - zonke ezandleni zomntu omdala. Umntwana kwi-100% kuxhomekeke ekuphumeni kwakhe kumama. Ngenxa yokuba imvelo ibonisa indlela ekhethekileyo yokulungelelaniswa kwawo: unina ngokusebenzisa iinkqubo ze-hormone inezinga lokunyuka kwengqondo kumntwana. Umntwana ngokusebenzisa ubuchule obunemvelo "ufunda" umama kwaye ulungelelanise nayo. Enyanisweni, le yindlela yokuphila. Nangona kunjalo, into ebalulekileyo yintoni umntwana ejongene ngayo: ubuhlobo bomama ngothando kunye nesimo sengqondo esicasulayo senza iinkqubo ezahlukeneyo zophuhliso kwengqondo yomntwana.
Ukuba uthando lukhuthaza iindlela ezikhuselekileyo zokuxhatshazwa kwengcinezelo kumntwana, ukucaphuka kunye nenzondo kuyabatshabalalisa.
Hayi, kunye neminyaka le engaguqukanga kumntwana engashiyi. Ewe, umntwana uyakhula kwaye kubonakala ngathi "I" wakhe uyakhiwa, kodwa ngelixa engenakukhuseleka kwihlabathi, usebenzisa olu lungiso ukuba "lwamkeleke, luyimfuneko, lwamkele" kwaye ke lunxibe, lugqoke kwaye lukhuselekile.
Ukuba ngaba umzali akayiqondi kwaye akayikulawula le nkqubo, mhlawumbi umntwana uya kufunda ukufakela iimvakalelo zakhe, ukuze amkeleke kumzali. Kwixesha elizayo, le yindlela yokungquzulana kwangaphakathi kunye neengqondo zengqondo.
"Kuthekani ngaba bantwana bekhala ngaphandle kokuyeka, bekhokelela ekuziphatheni kwabo kubazali babo?" - ubuza. Ukuba uyayiqonda, baphinde baphendule ukwesaba okungenanto okanye ukulindela kwabazali. Ngokuqhelekileyo umzali onjalo uyaqiniseka: umntwana uvavanyo olunzima, zininzi iingxaki, ziyatshitshisa kwaye ziyingozi.
Ngaba uye waphawula ukuba bangaphi abantu bezinye iintlanga abahamba ngeentsana? Abazali okanye abantwana abanokusola ukuba "kunzima, kuyingozi kwaye kuyisicwenge". Bonwabile.
Yintoni engabangela ubanda, ukucaphukisa okanye ukuzonda umama? Ukususela ekungalingani kwe-hormonal - kwiingcamango ezingenanto kunye nezimo zengqondo, kwaye ngokukhawuleza unina unquma malunga nale nto - ininzi amathuba okuphila komntwana.
Emva koko umntwana uyakhula, kunye nenkqubo 'yokungena kwayo' kwinkqubo yeembono kunye nezithethe zentsapho, ngoko inkqubo yezemfundo, ngoko uluntu jikelele, iqalisa.
Ziziphi iingcingo ezilindele umzali apha?
Ininzi yabantu abadala bakholelwa ukuba umntwana ngumntu omdala okhutshiwe, kunye nayo yonke imisebenzi kunye namakhono omntu omdala, akhuphekanga nakwi-100%.
Oku kuqondwa kakubi kwehlabathi. Umntwana uyahluke ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye ulindela kuye oko umntu omdala angakwenza, kodwa kwisaphulelo ukuya kwiminyaka yakhe, ayiphutha.
Ngexesha ngalinye, uphuhliso ubuchopho umntwana "disabled" kuba ixesha umsebenzi, yaye kukho abo ukuba umntwana isebenzisa ngoku, kodwa ke ngokupheleleyo "nyamalala" besebancinane abadala.
Kufuneka bazi, kufuneka bahokelwe, baveze imisebenzi nemfuno yomntwana.
Esi siqinisekiso sokuthi abazali abayikukhubaza umntwana kwaye abayi kuphinda belibale ukuphuculwa ekuphuhlisweni kwakhe.
Ukuba oku kuhoywa - i-neurosis nomzali, kwaye umntwana unikezelwa.
I-Genetic predisposition iyindlela eyinkimbinkimbi kunye neyobuchule. Uninzi lwabazali banokuqiniseka ukuba umntwana ufanele abe njengabo.
Cinga nje, yenza okufanayo, kodwa okokuchitha ixesha - ubomi bufana. Nangona kunjalo, oku akunakwenzeka. Inkqubo yokukhusela ngokuchithwa kwemvelo yakhiwe ngokwemvelo ngendlela enjengomntwana ongeke afane nomzali wakhe. Kwa hlukile. Ukufana kwangaphandle kunokuba ibhonasi enhle kule nkqubo.
Ukwamkela okanye ukungamkeli oku kudibanisa kukubeka isizathu sokuvumelanisa okanye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo komntwana.
Ukuthanda, abahlobo, iinjongo, indlela ebomini kunye nokunye okungakumbi kumntwana ukhethwa ngumzali.
Ufumana ntoni loo mntwana ngenxa yoko? Iingxaki zengqondo ngenxa yexinzelelo lwangaphakathi lwangaphakathi; ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo ngenxa yokutshatyalaliswa kwezakhiwo zobuntu.
Umntwana ukuya kwi-5-7 iminyaka ithatha indlela abaziphatha ngayo abadala, bezama ngamandla abo, bangahlalutyi. Le yinkqubo efanayo yokusinda: ufuna ukuhlala ngokuvumelana.
Abazali abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba umntwana uya kukhula - siza kuqala ukufundisa: "ngoko siza kuyityala, iya kutshatyalaliswa".
Umntwana ovela ekuzalweni uselekele yonke into kumzekelo wabazali kunye nabantu abadala abalulekileyo kuye. Ngokuzenzekelayo, ngokujulile kwaye ngokukhawuleza.
Ingaba umntwana ungumphefumlo wenkampani kunye nesibalo sabantu kwisikolo kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngabazali bavulelekile ukuthetha kunye nokuthatha inxaxheba ebomini. Uya kuba ngumthwalo wokukhulula okanye inkxaso yentsapho, kuxhomekeke kwinto ayibonayo kwintsapho yabazali. Ingaba uza kuvuya ngobudlelwane obufana nesini esahlukileyo, kuxhomekeka kwindlela umama noyise bahlala ngayo, kwaye yintoni eyenzekayo kumntwana. Kwaye ngoko yonke into.
Ukuba ngumnye, kwaye umntwana ukuba afundise ukuba ahluke yinkqubo ye-psychophysiological insolvent scheme.
"Ubomi bunzima, abazali balima ukuba banxibe inhlalakahle yomntwana, kungekhona kwinqaba!"
Umgibe ogqithiseleyo.
Ukususela kwingcinezelo, umntwana uya kukhuselwa kwaye uya kunceda ukuphuma kuyo, kokubili ebuntwaneni nakumntu omdala, iindlela zokunciphisa uxinzelelo, enye yeyona nto ingumxhesho weengqondo kunye nengqondo.
Ingqondo yomntwana ibaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba uyise wayephulaphule kwaye wanikeza iingcebiso ezilungileyo, wabeka izinto ngokulandelelana kunokuzihoxisa, kodwa zindleko zokutya nokugqoka. Ingqalelo yomzali kunye noncedo oluya kususwa ngonaphakade kwaye luya kuba ngumzekelo kule ngxaki elandelayo.
Imvakalelo emihle yemihla ngemihla: uvuyo lwe-pie ecocekileyo, uvuyo lokukwazi ukuhamba ngemigqomo, ukumbumbana ngaphandle kwesizathu esivela kumama, usuku oluhle kunye noyihlo - oku akuyona imifanekiso emihle. Ezi zizitena zomzimba zokunyamezela kunye nempilo yenyama.
Ukuthanda nokuthanda okanye ukufuna nokuchaneka? Abanye bakhetha imfundo yamahhala ngobuninzi benothando kunye nemigangatho emincinci yemfuno, abanye-ukulungelelanisa kunye nemfundo ebomini bokwenene ukususela kumntwana.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba awuyi kugcina ibhalansi - okokuqala kunokukhokelela ekudakaleni kwe-neurotic kwixesha elizayo, kwaye okwesibini - ukuphazamiseka kwemimiselo.
Umbuzo wokulinganisela uthando kunye neemfuno ngumcimbi wengqondo yengqondo yomntwana.
Uninzi lwabazali ngokuqhelekileyo aluzibuze yona umbuzo: "yintoni inkqubo endiyilandelayo?"
Le ngcaciso enengqiqo: abazali bayonwabile kunye nabo nabazali babo bakhuphula indlela abaye bakhuliswa ngayo ngabazali babo.
Ukunganeliseki kukhuliswa ngomgaqo: "Andiyi kuba njengomama wam."
Kwaye okokuqala kunye nesibini okukhethiweyo akuqinisekisi ukungabikho kweziphoso, kuba akukho mntu uqikelela inkqubo yezemfundo ngumzali ngenxa yoko: umntu onempilo kwaye onoyolo.
Ngoko ke ngokuqhelekileyo yamkelwe ukuba "wonke umntu ungumkhandi wakhe", kwaye impilo ngokuqhelekileyo "yihlathi elimnyama". Ngoko ke, kwinkqubo yemfundo njengonobangela bokugula kunye nokungahlali, akukho mntu uhamba phambili.
Ngelishwa, oku akunakwenzeka. Enoba inkqubo yemfundo echanekileyo khetha umzali, kodwa umntu ukuba uziva asiphumelelanga, mntwana ungonwabi "uya kusondela" kwaye ndingento yanto, kunye akanathemba kunye nokungaphumeleli kubudlelwane, kunye nezinye izinto ezininzi sibuhlungu umzali.
umthombo: ihappymama.ru