We equate the change of a loved one with betrayal. And often we are not ready for it. It breaks the ground from under the feet, carries with it destructive feelings and consequences. We are trying to build relationships on trust and love, and change betrays everything in one fell swoop. And the total the past, and the future together.
Is it possible to forgive treason? There can not be one answer or advice. But do not be frivolous about the feelings of your loved ones, the psychologist Anna Kiryanova is sure.
Betrayal disfigures the soul
And the body too. If you have to endure treason and endure for a long time; it happens. And the husband is a good person. He loves children, the family provides, the good, the strong, the brave ... And you love him, like Eleanor Roosevelt loved her husband. She married, not believing in happiness; she gave birth to six children; loved and idolized.
And then I found in my husband's suitcase a pack of love letters from the secretary Lucy. And I understood everything. The earth left her under her feet. A terrible blow! Everything collapsed. But she loved her husband, children, and in general - a divorce would mean the collapse of her husband's career. Moreover, he promised Lucy to stop the relationship. And in general was gentle, repentant, I wanted to save the marriage ...
He deceived and continued the relationship secretly. Eleanor pretended not to know. And engaged in violent social activities. She protected the rights of women, black people, and charity. She was even given a monument and awarded a reward. But how ugly she has become! From a cute young woman with magnificent hair, sable brows and clear eyes, she turned - I do not even want to write. In a very ugly woman. In a cartoon of yourself. And allegedly began to show feelings for the ladies - she started like a passionate affair with aunt. And Eleanor herself said that now she loves this aunt with all her heart ...
This is because there was no one to love. Because her feelings were trampled and deceived - her husband's relationship with Lucy continued, and then Lucy suffered a stroke, and Missy appeared. And the traitor Roosevelt himself suffered poliomyelitis and found himself in a wheelchair. What did not stop his novels and betrayals.
Eleanor was always there: energetic, faithful, faithful and terribly ugly. Like all unloved ... And then Roosevelt died. And Eleanor admitted that she loved him alone. They lived. They breathed. For his sake, everything was done. And no one needed her, except him - neither aunt nor uncle ... She just was unbearably painful and lonely, this first lady.
To live in treason is unbearably painful. Betrayal disfigures both body and soul. The one who is changed inevitably changes. Even if it is a strong and strong-willed person; he still hurts. And we need to spare somehow relatives, at least a little. And keep your word. Or make a decision ...
A source: ihappymama.ru